Are you wondering why you’ve hit a brick wall with your language skills? Do you know why you don’t feel like you’re improving? What I’m about to talk about might be the reason why you feel stuck with regards to your language skills and language development.
Today, I’d like to talk about CONFIDENCE.
Confidence is extremely important when you’re learning basically anything, not only languages. And how do I know this? Let me tell you a little story…
I used to be extremely quiet and shy, the kind of person who would be afraid to speak up or raise their hand in class. I had a hard time doing that, because as soon as I felt the focus was on me, I’d turn seriously red, tomato color. I was terrified of the masses, a loyal friend to one or two people, and happy to stay in my room reading in the comfort of my own company. I was like that from primary school until a little after I came to live in England.
Now don’t get me wrong, none of those qualities are wrong in a person, and I believe a part of me is still like that today. However, if you want to learn something quickly, efficiently, and successfully, you’ll want to get out of that bubble whilst learning. And here’s why…
My first year in England was a disaster, I came to study at university and I didn’t know anyone. It was my first time properly away from home, I was learning to cope without my parents, my friends and everything was different. I had been speaking in English my whole life (mostly to my Spanish mother), but I had never really maintained a conversation with a native English speaker, and now I was talking in English 24/7. It was a lot to take in for someone as shy as me, and every time I mispronounced a word in front of my English “friends”, it would be amusing to them because I was “so foreign”. The pressure was on, I realised that the A+ in English I had achieved my whole life (conversationally), was a very small part of the learning curve, I didn’t know as much as I thought.
So what did I do? I crawled up inside my little bubble, stayed comfortable, safe, gained a ton of weight, and barely talked to anyone on my first year. I was too scared to make a mistake. That summer I went home for a couple of months and when I tried to tell my family how I spent my first year abroad, I didn’t have much to tell them. So after reflecting upon all this, I realised that that attitude wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I had an opportunity some people don’t have and I was wasting it, I wanted to learn, so I had to make a change!
Of course, this change didn’t happen from one day to another, it took time and effort until I started feeling more comfortable with the new Adriana. I started by trying to talk to more people, thinking about things I could say out loud to add to the conversation. I made an effort to talk no matter how many mispronounced words I said, and when I made obvious mistakes I expected people to laugh, so I was ready to laugh with them. I learned to laugh about my own mistakes as a coping mechanism against my utter embarrassment.
From this moment on, I started to notice my spoken English and conversational skills were improving massively. And the reason for me feeling more comfortable with this new Adriana wasn’t the change itself, but the fact that it was helping me learn so much more about the English language, the accent, and the culture behind it. And now, most people who meet me don’t even notice my accent!
Losing the fear and being confident while practicing a new language is not about how much you know. It’s about coming to terms with the fact that you’ll make a fool of yourself sometimes, and knowing that the important thing, what really matters is learning, not what other people might say or do. Trust me, it was so worth it, and today I’m happier for having made that change.